Push

by Remote Impact

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about

It is significant that this album was released on February 7th, because that is the date I permanently broke off all contact with my worst abuser. Every year I celebrate this day as the anniversary of my freedom from abuse. This album is about waking up from the nightmare of being in love with someone who can't love you. Musically, it is our most complex project yet. The instrumentation is all done on my piano, and the main vocal tracks were mostly recorded at the same time as the main piano track, with only a few exceptions. I reworked the songs, sometimes dramatically, until they gave me goosebumps. I wanted this album to be nothing short of our best work, and I feel like we succeeded. The beauty of this album is the ultimate reprisal to the brutality of my abuser. This is what I am made of, and it was built on the ashes of all that I once was.

- Joanne Engel

credits

released February 7, 2016

Recorded & produced by Matt & Joanne Engel at
The Explorer Studio in Des Moines, WA.
Vocals/Keyboard/Composition- Joanne Elizabeth Engel.
Music for "Haunting" originally composed by Matt Engel on guitar.
Piano arrangement and lyrics by Joanne Engel.

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Remote Impact Tacoma, Washington

We multiply and divide ourselves.
We add and subtract each other.
We are numbers.
We are meaningless.
Value is a gift we give to each other.
To value is to love.

contact / help

Contact Remote Impact

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: This Is How You'll Know
I can send the message a hundred times
I might get a reply
Once you said that you would
If only we had more time

This is why, blinded by distance
You close your eyes
This is how I am forgotten in this darkness
This is when missing you is like nothing I’ve ever known
Missing you is like nothing I’ve ever known

I could be silent
I could vanish next to you
This is how you’ll know how much I love you

I can send the message a hundred times
But time can’t be space
No matter how hard I try
You still feel too far away

I could be silent
I could vanish next to you
This is how you’ll know how much I love you

I could be silent, I could be too late
I could come empty handed
No matter how hard I try, I don't matter

Well it’s too late, well you’re too late
Well it's too late to come empty handed
Track Name: Turn Around
Go ahead, test my faith
Push a little bit harder
until I'm ready to give in
How thin can I get
How long will I last without you

Turn around and touch me
I don't care why or how
Did you ever stop to think
that maybe I need you now

Try my patience once again
Push me down deeper
until hope gives way
Where starving is reborn
Where I will live without you

Turn around and touch me
I don't care why or how
Did you ever stop to think
that maybe I need you now

Hope twists and turns around in circles
Hope twists and turns around my neck
Hope twists and turns around in circles
Hope twists and turns around

I hold on to keep us
from falling through the black
Too ravenous to notice
there is no one here but me

Go ahead, test my faith
Push a little bit harder

Touch me a little bit longer
Hit me a little bit stronger
Push me a little bit harder
Turn around

Push a little bit harder
Turn around
Push
Track Name: Wishing You Would
How could I believe you
Were anything other than
A liar and a thief
How could I believe

If you are my anti-self
It doesn’t matter
It doesn’t matter how you lose me
I suffer this entanglement
Of charming ups and strange downs
Wishing you would be my end

How could I believe you
Were anything other than
A liar and a thief
How could I believe
How could I suffer this
How could I believe you’d leave me

If you are my anti-self
It doesn’t matter
It doesn’t matter when
You annihilate me
How could I believe
A liar and a thief could annihilate me

There’s no other way I’d want to go
There’s no other way
Wishing you would annihilate me
I’m wishing you would
There’s no other way I’d want to go

Be my end
I suffer this entanglement
Of charming ups and strange downs
Annihilate me, be my end
Track Name: To Be With You
So what if you’re no one
I want to show you what you mean to me
If you’re going nowhere, I want to go there
To be with you

I built a bridge to nowhere
I found you there
I built a bridge to nowhere
To be with you
I built a bridge to nowhere
You left me here
I built a bridge of nothing, of nothing
To be with you

So what if you’re no one
I want to show them what you've done to me
If you’re going nowhere
Go on and go then, on your own
To be with you is to be alone
You left me here to be alone
To be with you
Track Name: Overtaken
I learned from the way he lies
I know there's something left inside
I can't go
I learned from the way he spies
with eyes closed
There's no vacancy
He said so

Oh how the mighty have fallen to the ground
begging, "Don't let me be overtaken.
I'm over-shaken. Won't you please let me be,
let me be left alone, please..."
Oh how the mighty have fallen

I learned from the way he bites
I know there's something left in me
that won't go
I learned from the way he fights
without blows
There's nothing I can do
He said so

Please
Let me be overtaken, loved
I want to be loved
I've fallen, I'm coming undone
How was I supposed to know he isn't you?
Please
Track Name: Pretty Sure
I’m pretty sure, I’m pretty sure
If you kissed me the galaxy would
Crumble or implode
I’m pretty sure, I’m pretty sure
That by keeping your distance
You are saving the world
Saving the world, you are for me
Saving the world for me

I’m pretty sure I can do this for you
I can do this for you every day
I'm pretty sure I can do this for you

Every time you provoke me
Every time you fail to realize
Every time you deny me
Every time I call your bluff and I stay

Pretty sure I can do this for you
I would carry this love alone
Pretty sure I can do this for you
If you are saving the world, saving me

I’m pretty sure I can do this for you
I will carry this love on my own
Pretty sure I can do this for you
If you are saving the world
Saving me, saving the world
Every time you deny me

I can do this for you
Every time you deny me
Track Name: Haunting
I am words enough for this song
but I can say
I am not well
Yet I am well enough

I cannot tell you why I cry anymore
I cannot tell you why

I am on fire

I am here enough with this song
that I can feel you are not well
Yet you are well enough - I see you still

I cannot tell if this is enough

to set you on fire

I still miss you
Although I try not to think about you all the time
And I still feel you
haunting me so

I know I am enough
I just like to hear you say it
Say my name, say it
Say my name
Track Name: Crazy One
When I hear God speak
I know it's only me
You are wondering why
He doesn't say anything

I look to the moon
and pretend I'm landing soon
You look to the stars
as if they know who you are

And I am the crazy one

You can't help yourself
Your hands are drawn to mine
You are holding out
for someone better you may never find

Certainty is the warning
Certainty is the warning I am wrong

And I am the crazy one

I know it's only me resisting entropy
I know it's only me

I know it's only you trying not to fall apart
I know it's only you

When I hear God speak
He says
"Don't you come apart, girl
Not on me
You know what you are"
Track Name: Broken Mirror
It's time to set you down
There's no way out of this
Burning building except to jump
Expect to fly
I can't carry you and survive
Maybe your silence will save me this time

And it's not my place to question you
When it's not my arms around you anymore
It's not your light that guides me
And you are not my home

You are like a broken mirror
You twisted my vision
Made a believer out of me
I joined your religion and worshiped you
Now you're just another god
Who was never there
You were never there

And it's not my place to question you
When it's not my arms around you anymore
It's not your lies that guide me
And you are not my home

You are gone

All that's left in this broken mirror
It's time to set you down
There's no way out of this
Burning building except to jump
Expect to fly

Maybe your silence will carry me home
Maybe not, maybe not
Track Name: Hello Spacetime
Hello Spacetime
Before you blow it all away
send me a warning
Give me a call
so I can say goodbye

Goodbye Spacetime- nice to know ya
Goodbye Spacetime- sorry it's over
Goodbye Spacetime- farewell Love

Hello Empty
How's it going? I'm not all right
Ever since you swallowed me
all we ever do is fight

Goodbye Empty- I'm overflowing
Goodbye Empty- I don't belong here
Goodbye Empty- let me go

Hello Nothing
Can you tell me which way to go?
Where is God? Have you seen him?
If he shows will you tell him
I'm not coming back

Goodbye Nothing- thanks a million
Goodbye Nothing- I won't forget
Goodbye Nothing- I owe you

Hello Spacetime
If you hear me, here I am
Won't you please take me with you
I was meant for you

Hello Spacetime, look around
Yeah, it's me again,
come to talk you down
Tell me, have you ever been in love?